A few years ago, I was talking with a young man from our church. He said something that’s stayed with me ever since: “Pastor, I love God. I just don’t need to be at church every Sunday to prove it.”
I understood what he meant. But here’s what I’ve learned: love always proves itself. It has to. Because love isn’t just a feeling you keep to yourself—it’s something you do.
Whether you’ve been following Jesus for thirty years or thirty days, you’ve probably asked yourself this at some point: How do I know if I really love God? Maybe you feel distant from Him sometimes. Maybe your emotions come and go. Maybe you wonder if what you feel is real.
But here’s the thing: God isn’t asking you to feel your way into love. He’s asking you to live your way into it.
The Corinthian church was wrestling with something similar. Not distance from God, but confusion about what love actually looks like in real life. And Paul’s answer cuts right through all the complexity.
The Problem We All Face
Listen to what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 8:1–2:
Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth. And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.
Here’s what strikes me: Paul doesn’t start by answering their question about idols. He starts by pointing to something we all wrestle with—we get puffed up by what we know.
This isn’t about Bible scholars sitting in libraries. This is about you. This is about me.
Maybe you know Scripture better than you did a year ago. Maybe you’ve learned spiritual truths that your friends haven’t grasped yet. Maybe you understand God’s Word in ways that matter to you. That’s good. Knowledge is a gift from God.
But there’s a trap: the more you know, the easier it becomes to think you’re better than someone who doesn’t. A mature believer might watch someone skip church and think, If they really loved God, they’d be here. A newer believer might look at someone living in sin and wonder, How can they even call themselves Christian? We all do it. We take what we know and use it as a measuring stick for others—and somewhere in that process, we lift ourselves up a little higher.
But knowledge without love tears down. It separates. It judges.
Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.
Love builds up. Love makes room for people. Love doesn’t require everyone to have it figured out before it welcomes them in. That’s the difference that changes everything.
What Jesus Actually Said
Here’s where it stops being theoretical and becomes real. Jesus didn’t leave this ambiguous. He didn’t say, “If you feel love for Me, that’s enough.” He said something much more direct.
In John 14:15:
If ye love me, keep my commandments.
And then He pressed in, in verse 21:
He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
Let that land. Jesus is saying: The way I know you love Me is by how you live.
Not by how you pray. Not by what you feel in worship. Not by how much Bible you know. By what you do.
This matters whether you’re brand new to faith or you’ve walked with Jesus your whole life. Both the new believer and the mature believer face the same real test: Do your actions match what you claim to believe?
For someone just starting out, that means: I said I love God. So am I actually going to read His Word and let it change me? Am I going to show up to church even when I’d rather sleep in? Am I going to love people the way He loves me, even when they’re hard to love?
For someone who’s been walking with Christ for years, it’s just as hard: I’ve claimed to love God for a long time. But where do I actually spend my time? What do I prioritize? Have I settled into comfort, or am I still willing to sacrifice?
Both questions sting a little. Both require real honesty.
The Thing Christ Values Most
Here’s something that shifted my whole understanding of this. Christ loves the church. Not just the idea of church. Not just individual believers scattered around doing their own thing. He loves His church—His gathered, committed people.
Paul describes it this way:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; — Ephesians 5:25
That’s the picture. Christ didn’t just feel affection for the church. He gave Himself for it. He sacrificed. He committed. He made it His priority.
So when someone says, “I love God, but I don’t really need church,” something doesn’t add up. It’s like saying to someone, “I love you, but I’m going to neglect the things you love most.”
I talk with people regularly who tell me, “My faith is personal—just me and God.” And I understand that impulse. Your relationship with Jesus is deeply personal. But here’s what Jesus taught: that personal relationship overflows into community. It shows up in how you treat His people. It proves itself in your commitment to His church.
If you love God, you have to love what God loves. And God loves His church.
Now, loving the church doesn’t mean pretending it’s perfect. The church has always been made up of flawed people—and that includes you and me. There are hypocrites. There are problems. There’s gossip and division and things that break your heart.
But knowing all that, if you love Christ, you still show up. You still participate. You still serve. You don’t jump ship because things are messy—not when Christ didn’t abandon you, even though you’re messy too.
The Proof Test
Let me bring this down to what’s actually true in your life right now.
Jesus gave us a way to know whether we really love Him. It’s not hidden. It’s not complicated. Look at how you live.
Do you read His Word? And when you do, do you actually live what it says, or does it go in one ear and out the other by dinnertime?
Do you pray? And when you pray, are you genuinely listening—or are you just talking?
Do you serve others? Do you spend your time, your energy, your resources on people who need it?
Do you show up to church? Not just when it’s easy, but consistently—because you’ve decided that being part of God’s family matters more than sleeping in or watching the game or whatever else you could do instead?
Do you love the people around you the way Christ loved you? Sacrificially. Without keeping score. Even when it costs you something.
These aren’t hoops to jump through. You don’t earn God’s love—Jesus already paid that price on the cross. But they are what love actually looks like when it’s real.
Paul put it this way in 1 Corinthians 13:
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
You can speak well. You can know things. You can do good works. But if love isn’t the foundation—if you’re not doing it because you love God and His people—it’s just empty noise.
Love has to be underneath everything.
If You’re Just Beginning
If you gave your life to Jesus recently—last week, last month, last year—and you’re trying to figure out what it actually means to love Him, here’s what I want you to know: You don’t have to be perfect at this.
You don’t have to understand the entire Bible before you start living it. You don’t have to have your life completely figured out. You don’t have to wait until you feel spiritual enough.
Just start where you are.
Open your Bible—even if half of it confuses you, do what you do understand. Show up to church. Find a small group. Serve somewhere. Start talking to God about what’s really on your heart.
Love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about trying. It’s about showing up even when you’re unsure. It’s about doing the next right thing, even if you’re not sure what comes after that.
And here’s the beautiful part: As you actually do these things, your love for God will grow. It won’t feel fake or forced. It’ll become real because you’re living it, not just thinking about it.
If You’ve Been Walking With Jesus for Years
If you’ve known Christ for a long time, you’ve probably felt this pull: You know more now. You understand Scripture deeper. You’ve watched God work in your life. You’ve learned things.
And this is where it gets dangerous: Knowledge can become a substitute for humility.
It’s easy to start thinking, I’ve got this figured out. I don’t need to try as hard. I’ve earned the right to coast. Or worse: I know what’s right, and everyone else is wrong.
But real spiritual maturity isn’t arrogance. It’s the opposite. The deeper you actually know God, the smaller you feel. The more you understand His grace, the humbler you become. The more you see what you don’t know, the more careful you are about judging others.
And if you’ve been coasting—if your love for God has become routine or disappeared altogether—then today is the day to turn around. Not in shame, but in honesty. Tell God: I’ve drifted. I’ve let what I know become pride. I’ve neglected my church, my Bible, my prayer life, my service. I want to love You again like I meant it.
Repentance isn’t punishment. It’s just turning around and going the right direction again.
The Real Question
Whether you’re brand new or you’ve walked with Jesus your whole life, I want to ask you what Jesus asked His disciples:
Do you love Him?
If the answer is yes, then the harder question follows:
Does your life prove it?
Not someday. Not when things calm down. Not when you feel ready. Now.
What would it look like for you to prove your love through the way you actually live? Maybe it means committing to church—not because you have to, but because you want to be part of what Christ is building. Maybe it means opening your Bible every day and asking God to change you through what you read. Maybe it means serving someone when it’s inconvenient. Maybe it means telling someone no so you can say yes to what God is calling you to.
Whatever it is, let your life be the proof.
Struggling to Find Solid Ground?
When life feels overwhelming and you’re searching for biblical truth to anchor your faith, Standing in the Dark offers a path forward—grounded in Scripture, written for real struggles.
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